Let’s take a look at how the women from my favorite medium fared.
Rachel Brosnahan in VionnetEmbed from Getty Images
I haven’t watched “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” yet, but Rachel here just won for playing a Bryn Mawr graduate (my alma mater), and formerly starred on one of my favorite and most criminally under-watched shows “Manhattan”. All that is to say, watching her show is on my to-do list. I do wish she had picked a more interesting gown to celebrate her big win though. This is aggressively fine.
Issa Rae in custom Prabal GurungEmbed from Getty Images
“Insecure” is another show on my must-watch list. Issa looks incredible here in one of my favorite looks of the night. She’s working that Angelina Jolie style slit, and the necklace is to die for.
Kerry Washington in Prabal GurungEmbed from Getty Images
Kerry also turned to Prabal Gurung, although less successfully. Her face is major, and the dress is fine, but the booties are totally discordant.
Sarah Paulson in Calvin Klein by AppointmentEmbed from Getty Images
Sarah is one of the stars I most look forward to seeing on a red carpet. She always keeps thing interesting and her work with stylist Karla Welch (one of my faves) is usually stellar. But this sparkly halter neck top and satin skirt combo is a major letdown. She has worn so many more unique and interesting black gowns before, that this feels very half-assed.
Millie Bobby Brown in custom Calvin KleinEmbed from Getty Images
The second Calvin Klein of the evening didn’t fare much better for me. It’s not offensive, but it’s also not really…anything. It’s more “sack of black fabric” than fully formed dress. Even more unforgivable for being a custom creation.
Caitriona Balfe in ChanelEmbed from Getty Images
Ugh. Cait made my best dressed list last year with a fabulous and quirky Delpozo. Cue Tyra Banks “I was rooting for you”. gif. This Chanel is just a weird mess of harnesses, ruching, and arm loofas.
Viola Davis in custom Brandon MaxwellEmbed from Getty Images
Viola is almost always a lovely palate cleanser, and this time is no different. Her custom velvet Brandon Maxwell fits her like a dream, her Harry Winston jewels are unique, and her stunning hair is enviable.
Tracee Ellis-Ross in Marc JacobsEmbed from Getty Images
I love seeing Tracee on the red carpet – her attitude always makes me smile, and she’s genuinely committed to trying unique and challenging looks. I wish I liked this somewhat sloppy dress nearly as much as I ADORE the fabulously dramatic turban.
Sarah Jessica Parker in Dolce and GabbanaEmbed from Getty Images
SJP often has an “editing” problem. There are about three too many things going on here for this to be successful. I want to remind her of Coco Chanel’s famous adage: “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.”
Gwendoline Christie in Giles DeaconEmbed from Getty Images
Sliding Gwendoline in here because despite her two minute cameo in the latest Star Wars, people obviously most associate her with Brienne of Tarth. Unfortunately, no one should ever associate her with this dress. It’s a hot mess.
Gillian Anderson in Solace LondonEmbed from Getty Images
Mulder and Scully need to investigate what the fuck Gillian has done to her hair. It’s appallingly bad and ages her 20 years. The dress is…fine.
Samira Wiley in Romona KevezaEmbed from Getty Images
I’ve been staring at this dress since Sunday, and I still don’t get it. Are the yellow triangles a necklace? Are they attached to the dress? ARE THE GLUED TO HER SKIN?! I have questions.
Amy Poehler in Greta ConstantineEmbed from Getty Images
Amy was accompanied on the red carpet by activist Saru Jayaraman, president of Restaurant Opportunities Centers, which works to improve conditions and wages for restaurant workers. Amy has a tendency to dress about 20 years older than her age – this is both boring and aging on her.
Eva Longoria in custom GennyEmbed from Getty Images
Eva is apparently quite pregnant, which I didn’t realize. Genny was the designer behind a gown Jaimie Alexander wore to the Globes last year which I ADORED. This one is inherently less interesting since it’s monochrome, but it’s a nice placement for a relatively unknown designer.
Chrissy Metz in custom Sachin and BabiEmbed from Getty Images
Chrissy has everything custom-made for her, which means there should be no excuse for something as sloppy as this.