Grammys: Not As Bad As Usual!

In the past I have declined to write about the Grammys, because let’s face it, they’re usually a hot mess sartorially. This year was a bit more tempered with some genuinely interesting and surprising looks.

Lorde in Valentino

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Lorde was the only Album of the Year contender NOT offered a solo performing slot…and she also happened to be the only woman nominated. Couple that with the appallingly tone-deaf statement from the Recording Academy President that women needed to “step up” to get more parity in nominations, we have a major problem. Women released some of the best, most powerful, timely music this year. From Kesha and Cardi B to Lorde and SZA, they’ve stepped up. The problem is, the old white men in charge aren’t listening.

Anyway, Lorde wore a lovely red Valentino to NOT perform in, and sewed the following passage from artist Jenny Holzer onto the back: ”

“Rejoice! Our times are intolerable. Take courage, for the worst is a harbinger of the best. Only dire circumstance can precipitate the overthrow of oppressors. The old and corrupt must be laid to waste before the just can triumph. Contradiction will be heightened. The reckoning will be hastened by the staging of seed disturbances. The apocalypse will blossom.”

Performing or not, THAT’S a mic drop.

Lady Gaga Armani Privé

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Well, it’s not a meat dress, and it’s not covered in murdered Kermits, and it’s not a literal danger to society, and it’s not going to haunt my nightmares, so…let’s call it a win!

Eve in Naeem Khan

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Really, really good. It’s perfectly tailored and the no-shirt look is executed well. Although she looses points for that awful early 2000’s baguette bag! As you can see, she’s also carrying a white rose – something a lot of artists chose to do in solidarity with the #TimesUp movement.

Janelle Monae in Dolce and Gabbana

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I like when Janelle interjects color in her normally exclusively black and white aesthetic, but this is a bit too much. She’s getting lost in it.

Lana Del Rey in Gucci

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This is all VERY Lana but the effect is ethereal and lovely. I’m surprised she’s pulling off the crown of stars, which on someone less committed to their aesthetic would come off as silly.

SZA in Versace

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This was a big red carpet moment for her, but unfortunately she just looks so bedraggled. Did she have to hack her way through some kind of Midtown thicket to get the Garden?

Camila Cabello in Vivienne Westwood

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This is the definition of sloppy. I would bet good money that parts of this are just stapled together.

Alicia Keys in Bao Tranchi

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As someone who also doesn’t wear makeup (mostly out of laziness and one too many stabby eye liner incidents), I really respect Alicia’s commitment to going au naturale. It helps that she’s gorgeous and truly doesn’t need it.

Miley Cyrus in Zac Posen

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You could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw this. This is NOT the tongue-wagging, Robin Thicke-twerking Miley we have come to expect at the Grammys. She looks stunning, fresh-faced, and like she is genuinely enjoying wearing the hell out of this gown.

Miley Cyrus in Jean Paul Gaultier

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This is what Miley actually walked the red carpet in and it’s fine, but I wish she had stuck with the Zac Posen.

Anna Kendrick in Balmain

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I see what she was aiming for here, but the pieces just don’t fit for me. The pants are ballooning too much, the bustier shortens her torso horribly, and the Barbie pink shoes are a random choice. I would love to take the jacket and start over again.

Katie Holmes in Zac Posen

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This has a certain garbage bag quality to it that just reminded me I have to take my garbage out tonight which has now made me sad.

Kelly Clarkson in Christian Siriano

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This is fine, but it definitely ages her.

Ashanti in Yas Couture

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I really want to work a “Yas Couture” equals “YAAASSSS Couture” joke in here somewhere, but it’s cheesy as hell. This is damn good and the best she’s ever looked.

Beyoncé in Nicholas Jebran

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This is obviously MAJOR. She didn’t walk the red carpet, but boy is she making a statement. Her stylist said in an interview with People that her three looks for Grammy weekend were inspired by the Black Panthers.

My favorite of the three was her custom Azzi and Osta she wore to Clive Davis’ Pre-Grammy Gala.

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I mean, this may be the single coolest picture I’ve ever seen. The beret, the turtleneck, the draping on the skirt, it’s all working and it’s all ridiculously cool.

She also wore Ralph and Russo to the Roc Nation Pre-Grammys Brunch, and honestly, I shouldn’t be surprised that this is what Beyoncé wears to brunch.

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Photo credits: Beyoncé’s Instagram

Hailee Steinfeld in Alexandre Vauthier

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This is pretty good, especially from a designer who is usually too shredded, too sheer, and too tacky.

Chrissy Teigan in Yanina Couture

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Stunning – one of my favorite looks of the night, she is positively glowing.

Pink in Armani Privé

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I LOVED the collection this dress came from, and I a glad someone took a chance on it, but I don’t think it translates well to the red carpet. This gown might have been best served by staying on the runway.

Rita Ora in Ralph and Russo

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Rits Ora is such a mystery to me. I don’t think I have ever heard one of her songs, yet she is EVERYWHERE. Fashion weeks, red carpets, movie premieres, she’s all over the place, yet I cannot name a single creative endeavour of hers. What I do know is that she has completely nutty taste, and this is super tame for her. If you’re going to bring the crazy anywhere, it should probably be at the Grammys.

Cardi B in Ashi Studio

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While my boyfriend and I were on a road trip over the holiday break we were in the  car for hours on end and after consulting a “Best Music of 2017” list, we pressed play on Cardi B’s “Bodack Yellow”. And it was awful. I don’t know what we were missing…maybe we are just old? Either way, Cardi had a HUGE year and this was a big moment for her. I like Ashi Studio, but don’t love this on her. The intricacies of the construction are getting lost in all the white and you can almost see that she feels totally overwhelmed in it.

Kesha in Nudie’s Rodeo Tailors

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I adore Kesha and thought she released on the best albums of the year. She was absolutely robbed, but the consolation prize was the fact that she gave the performance of her career. I defy you to watch it without crying.

She’s been rocking a very country western aesthetic since she released “Rainbow”, usually relying on the cowboy glamour of Gucci’s latest lines. This time however she went DEEP with a vintage piece designed by a Ukranian Jewish country western couturier to the stars. Seriously. Read his Wikipedia, it’s fascinating! She said on Instagram that this was Nudie Cohn’s personal suit that he wore to walk his daughter down the aisle and that no one else had ever worn it.

Andra Day in custom Victoria Hays Collection

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Andra is known for her fully committed vintage looks. This isn’t my favorite of hers, but no one can say she doesn’t go all in.

Heidi Klum in Ashi Studio

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Finding new ways to say Heidi Klum looks tacky, unwashed, and naked is quickly loosing its charm.

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