Oscars 2018: Black, White, and Neutral All Over

This was one of the largest categories of the night – sometimes I think awards show fatigue sets in and folks phone it in or go too “safe” for the big dance.

Allison Williams in Armani Privé

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I am a big fan of Allison’s style, but this is too pale for my taste. I see what they were going for and in almost any other color I would probably love it.

St. Vincent in Saint Laurent

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My, what a pointy vagina you have! This is…stylized. I get that her whole look is very stylized, but I just wish that didn’t involve stabby lady bits. Somewhat related – I listened to some of her music after seeing her perform for the first time during the show, and I’m currently obsessing over this number. Seriously, go listen.

Jane Fonda in Balmain

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PSA: Jane Fonda is 80 years old. That is all.

Oh, and she also looks bangin’.

Tiffany Haddish in Alexander McQueen

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Tiffany presenting alongside Maya Rudolph was easily the highlight of the show. Tiffany is phenomenally funny – she’s going to be a huge star, in part because she’s incredibly relatable. Take this dress, she’s worn it three times already because she loves it and it’s the first big-ticket designer item she ever purchased. I GET IT, GIRL. And I love that about her. I hope she keeps wearing this dress because there’s nothing in the world like reveling in your first designer purchase.

Laura Dern in Calvin Klein by Appointment

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This is lovely. She’s had a lot of fashion missteps lately, but this is sleek and elegant on her.

Kelly Ripa in Christian Siriano

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How much fun is this!? Christian Siriano dressed a whopping 17 women at the Oscar’s, from Kelly to Whoopie to Laurie to Lindsey. Most of them looked amazing and he demonstrated incredible range and attentiveness to his clients. This is one of my favorites. The pops of color at the back are so unexpected and delightful.

Taraji P. Henson in Vera Wang

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Listening to Taraji present the other night I realized that I was completely enamored with her voice. I want her to read me the phone book; to wake me up every morning and tell me how awesome my day is going to be; to give me sassy pep talks. However, I do not like this dress. I am so over the sheer trend – particularly here where it puts the underpinnings of the outfit on display.

Lindsey Vonn in Christian Siriano

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I hate this so much. She looks like an old-timey brothel madame. The necklace is completely absurd with this neckline and the mesh panels and shoulder fringe are tacky. I might argue that this is the worst thing Christian Siriano has ever created.

Camilla Alves in Vivienne Westwood

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This looks like an unfinished piece of couture from “The Phantom Thread”.

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